The Skinny Struggle

When I was in my early teen years I would agonize over how large I was. I was in a healthy weight range, wore a size 0-3, and I was convinced in my mind that I was heavy. 

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A few years later, after I actually became heavy, I’d look back at photos wondering what it was I saw then, wishing I could go back and shake some sense into myself. 

It’s like the skinny friend, that we all have, who is forever complaining about how fat she is and all you want to do is shake her because you’d kill for her fat to be your skinny. I didn’t understand that the way my mind was viewing my body wasn’t reality. 

Now, present time, I’ve lost a lot of weight. I am in a healthy weight range for my height… And y’all.

I still look in the mirror and all I see is how fat I am. 

The words that you speak over your body is how your mind is going to see it. It doesn’t matter what size pants you wear or what the scale says.

I spoke death over my body for almost 20 years. Even now that I’m in a healthy weight range it’s difficult to see it as it actually is. Retraining my mind to view my body differently is an exercise in self-love I haven’t practiced ever before. It’s a healthy habit I need to form just like I’ve formed healthy habits with the foods I’m eating. 

And I don’t have to be thin to practice it. 

Every morning I wake up, I have an opportunity to love myself. I have an opportunity to look in the mirror and speak to the beautiful qualities within my spirit. To speak life over the body that blessed me with six beautiful pregnancies, say thank you for the arms that get to rock my earth babies, and legs that propel me forward. I have the blessed opportunity to be grateful for the chest that nourished three tiny humans and the face that my husband desperately loves.  

I have come to understand that the skinny struggle really isn’t a skinny struggle at all, it’s a heart struggle.

Hearts need nourishment too. 

I want to challenge you to speak 5 kind words or phrases over yourself today. Putting the right words in is just as important as the food that you’re eating. 

 
           

 

9 Comments

  1. I love your positivity! Thank you for all you share with us, strangers yet not because we share so many commonalities <3

  2. Love this! Have you read the blog post called The After Myth? I think that’s what it’s called.

  3. Great post. I struggled with this all my life as well and even now after losing the weight of my oldest toddler, I still see myself the way I was before. Giving it to the Lord and asking him to make me love myself the way he does, the way he sees me.

  4. Just found you and just received my 1st instant pot. I’m 5’2″ and 250lbs. Thank you so much for sharing yourself. You are an inspiration., Dawn

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